If you’ve ever found yourself wondering whether you’re doing the right thing for your child—or feeling overwhelmed by the unknown—you’re not alone. The journey of parenting a neurodivergentAn individual whose brain functions differently from the (usually neurotypical) perception of what is “normal”. For example, an individual with autism, Asperger's syndrome, dyslexia, dyscalculia, dyspraxia, ADHD, OCD or Tourette Syndrome. child is often filled with a mix of emotions, questions, and deeply personal, sometimes isolating, turning points. This post shares my reflections on navigating that uncertainty towards understanding, hoping that something resonates and reminds you: you’re doing your best, and that truly matters.
I’m Yasodha Rajadurai , a parent, educator, and coach with over 15 years supporting children and families. My own experiences as a parent sparked my dedication to inclusive, strength-based approaches, which I bring to my work as a NeuroTribe UK CIC Practitioner and as a certified Parent and NeurodiversityHow human brains and minds differ. The Neurodiversity Movement is an approach that seeks equal rights, respect and inclusion for neurodivergent people who have conditions like autism, Asperger's syndrome, dyslexia, dyscalculia, dyspraxia, ADHD, OCD or Tourette Syndrome Coach.
Stage 1: Initial Shock and Disbelief
I’ll never forget one of the earliest conversations I had with my daughter’s preschool teacher in Singapore. She said, “She’s struggling to read. She’s not reading at her age level.” The words hit me like a punch to the stomach. My heart pounded as I tried to reconcile what I was hearing with the bright, curious, energetic child I knew. Different? Perhaps. But delayed? I couldn’t quite believe it.
Stage 2: Grief and Mourning
That moment marked the beginning of a journey I never anticipated—one that has shaped who I am today, both personally and professionally. At first, I was in disbelief. Like many parent/carers, I questioned the observations, attributing them to personality, environment, or a mismatch in teaching style. Underneath it all, there was grief—grief for the expectations I had unknowingly held. Letting go of those expectations felt like mourning a future I had imagined.
Stage 3: Anger and Frustration
As reality began to settle in, I felt waves of frustration. Frustration with systems that didn’t seem to accommodate different ways of learning, with professionals who spoke in absolutes, and with myself for not knowing sooner. The emotions were messy but real, and they needed space to be acknowledged.
While the diagram above presents stages of acceptanceThe act of taking, receiving or agreeing with something without attempting to change or protest it., it’s important to remember that this is just one way to understand a complex and personal journey. My path certainly wasn’t linear; I moved back and forth, up and down, through these feelings. This model provides a useful lens for describing some common experiences, but it has its limitations. We don’t neatly progress through each stage once. Even now, I find myself revisiting and re-experiencing aspects of these stages as my child goes through different phases of life. It’s a helpful descriptor, but our individual realities are often much more fluid.
Stage 4: Solution Seeking
Once the initial fog lifted, I channelled my energy into action. I read voraciously, connected with other parent/carers, and pursued assessments and support. That’s when I realised my daughter didn’t have a ‘problem’. She simply learned differently. A highly visual learner, she needed a teaching style that matched her unique way of processing information. She needed an approach that played to her strengths.
Stage 5: Depression and Anxiety
Despite my growing knowledge, moments of self-doubt crept in. Was I doing enough? Was I making the right choices? There were days filled with anxiety and sleepless nights worrying about her future. But even in the hardest moments, I kept going—because she needed me to.
Stage 6: Acceptance and Hope
The real turning point came through deep reflection and reframing. I stopped seeing neurodivergence as something to ‘fix’ and began to honour it as a different way of being. I moved from trying to make my child fit in, to creating space for her to belong. AcceptanceThe act of taking, receiving or agreeing with something without attempting to change or protest it. and advocacyThe act of publicly supporting or recommending a particular cause, enabling others to have their voices heard. didn’t arrive in one grand moment. They came quietly—in small wins, in growing trust, and in shared understanding.
This journey inspired me to retrain as a special educator, so that I could gain the theoretical understanding and practical tools to support her better. This then led to the founding of All Hands Together, Singapore in 2012, driven by a vision that All Children Can Learn. With a strength-based, child-centred approach, I wanted to create a space where neurodivergentAn individual whose brain functions differently from the (usually neurotypical) perception of what is “normal”. For example, an individual with autism, Asperger's syndrome, dyslexia, dyscalculia, dyspraxia, ADHD, OCD or Tourette Syndrome. children could thrive, feel seen, heard, and valued.
After returning from Singapore, I felt drawn to expand my knowledge even further and deepen the support I could offer to families. That’s what led me to become a NeuroTribe UK CIC Practitioner. Their values of inclusionThe act of including a person as part of a group with equal opportunities, equity and resources, who might otherwise be excluded or marginalised., respect for neurodivergence, and commitment to strength-based approaches aligned so closely with my own. Joining NeuroTribe UK CIC has allowed me to bring my years of experience into a new context—one grounded in community, collaboration, and compassion.
Walking Beside Other Parent/Carers
As NeuroTribe Practitioners, we work with parent/carers—not because we have all the answers, but because we’ve walked this path ourselves. We understand the exhaustion, the secret tears, and the constant questioning. But we also know the deep joy of truly seeing your child, and embracing a different—but no less beautiful—way forward, together.
An Invitation to Connect
If any part of this story resonates with you, we warmly invite you to join our Free Introductory Workshop for Parent/carers of NeurodivergentAn individual whose brain functions differently from the (usually neurotypical) perception of what is “normal”. For example, an individual with autism, Asperger's syndrome, dyslexia, dyscalculia, dyspraxia, ADHD, OCD or Tourette Syndrome. Children. It’s a gentle, affirming space where we reflect together, ask meaningful questions, and explore what acceptanceThe act of taking, receiving or agreeing with something without attempting to change or protest it. might look like in your family.
This isn’t a place for quick fixes or perfect answers—it’s a place for shifting perspectives, building confidence, and truly seeing your child for who they are.
Free Introductory Workshop for Parent/carers of NeurodivergentAn individual whose brain functions differently from the (usually neurotypical) perception of what is “normal”. For example, an individual with autism, Asperger's syndrome, dyslexia, dyscalculia, dyspraxia, ADHD, OCD or Tourette Syndrome. Children
📅 April 24th 12pm to 1pm (UK time)
📍 Online via Zoom
This workshop is brought to you by NeuroTribe UK CIC—a community of practitioners committed to supporting families through evidence-informed, neuro-affirming practice.
From one parent to another, I see you.
With warmth,
NeuroTribe UK CIC practitioner.
Certified Parent & NeurodiversityHow human brains and minds differ. The Neurodiversity Movement is an approach that seeks equal rights, respect and inclusion for neurodivergent people who have conditions like autism, Asperger's syndrome, dyslexia, dyscalculia, dyspraxia, ADHD, OCD or Tourette Syndrome Coach
