Surviving July Together: Tips from Our Parent-Carer Community

The summer holidays are so close we can almost taste them. But if you are a parent-carer of a neurodivergentAn individual whose brain functions differently from the (usually neurotypical) perception of what is “normal”. For example, an individual with autism, Asperger's syndrome, dyslexia, dyscalculia, dyspraxia, ADHD, OCD or Tourette Syndrome. (ND) child, we know that the final stretch of the school year isn’t a victory lap. It’s a marathon through a minefield.

July brings too much noise, too many changes, and too much worry. Here are the demands that can be challenging for our ND kids.

The Challenges of Sports Day

The noise of loudspeakers, whistles, and cheering crowds.
The pressure of team games that need quick moves and quick talk.
The worry of performing in front of everyone.
Having to sit still and behave while waiting for their turn.

The Challenges of Prize Giving

All eyes on them when walking across the stage.
Feeling left out if they don’t get a prize.
Not knowing what will happen: “Will they call my name? What if I fall over?”
Having to sit still and behave through a long, boring assembly.

The Challenges of Special Assemblies

The normal school day being thrown out for fire drills, leaving assemblies, talent shows, and “surprise” gatherings.
Not knowing what comes next, which makes them feel unsafe.
Having to sit still and behave in a hot, crowded hall for too long.

The Challenges of School Trips

Packing food they will actually eat.
Worrying about toilet stops and the fear of them running off.
Bumpy bus rides, strange smells, and noisy, crowded places.
Being handed over to staff in a busy, unfamiliar place.
Having to sit still and behave on a long coach journey.
The social worry and isolation of being away from home with peers.
Fear of being bullied or having painful social interactions.
Feeling lonely and left out in a group setting.
Unfamiliar bedding, sheets, and sleeping arrangements that don’t fit their sensory profile.
Being cared for by instructors or teachers they don’t have a safe attachmentThe forming of a significant emotional bond with another person. with.
Staff not knowing how to break instructions down into small steps for our ND kids.
Staff not being autism-aware and misinterpreting behaviour as “naughty” rather than distressed.

The Challenges of Holiday Clubs

Being expected to attend summer clubs they often hate and refuse to go to.
Unfamiliar staff who don’t understand their needs.
Noisy, chaotic environments with too many children.
Unpredictable daily routines with no structure.
Having to make small talk and socialise with children they don’t know well.
Fear of being left out or bullied by other children.
No quiet space to escape to when feeling overwhelmed.
Being in a new place with different rules and expectations.

We Are Tired Too

By July, we are running on empty. We have been the advocates, the therapists, and the emotional supporters for ten months.

Teachers in SEN roles are also exhausted—endless reports, EHCP updates, and packing up classrooms.

We are all just trying to get through it. And that is okay.

Tips from Our Parent-Carer Community

We asked our community what helps them get through July. Here is what they said:

1. “Drop the bar.”

“We stop trying to be ‘perfect parents’ in July. If breakfast is a biscuit in the car, fine. We save our energy for calming our kids down.” — Sarah

2. “Take two minutes to breathe.”

“Before any event, we take two minutes of quiet breathing and talk through what will happen. It stops the overwhelm.” — James

3. “Make a ‘July Bag’.”

“We pack a bag with headphones, a weighted lap pad, chewy jewellery, and a favourite toy. It lives in the car.” — Priya

4. “Keep the next day free.”

“We keep the day after a big event empty. No playdates, no clubs. Just pyjamas and quiet activities.” — Emma

5. “Talk to the school about energy.”

“We emailed the SENCO and said: ‘Here is what drains our child and here is what fills them up.’ It opened up a proper chat.” — Mark

6. “Have a plan B.”

“We always have an escape plan. Before any event, we agree a signal with our child—a thumbs down or a certain word—so they can tell us when they’ve had enough. We also make sure we know where the quiet room is and park near the exit so we can leave quickly if we need to.” — Linda

7. “Don’t make them go!”

“If a school trip or holiday club is going to cause more stress than joy, just say no. Our kids don’t have to do everything. Sometimes the kindest thing we can do is let them stay home, in their safe spaceA place or environment where a person or group of people can feel comfortable that they will not be discriminated against, harassed, harmed or criticised., with their safe people. Trust your gut—you know your child best.” — Anonymous

8. “Look after yourselves too.”

“We can’t help our kids if we are drained. We take 15 minutes a day for us—even if it’s hiding in the loo with a cuppa.” — Anonymous

Looking Ahead

To every parent-carer reading this: We are nearly there.

Give yourself permission to say “no.” Let the homework go. Let the uniform be messy. Our job this July isn’t to win races or sit perfectly still; our job is to get to the summer holidays with our confidence still intact.

Lower the pressure and demands. Give more kindness and downtime for ALL.